MAN VS CLOTHES

Now I know they say that looks aren't everything and by golly looks can definitely be deceiving but unless you happen to be randomly blindfolded (perhaps mid-pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey session? Or maybe blacked out shades would be more likely?) The genesis of most first impressions is based solely upon appearance. Although this isn't just limited to their physical appearance, clothing is also a huge factor. 

It doesn't matter how twinkly his eyes are, if his trousers have those little zippers that convert them into shorts, he will face judgement - it's inevitable my friend. However, if when contact is made, you find that miraculously his personality makes up for his obvious lack of fashion-anything (lucky you ey), then put him down as a 'fixer-upper'. We women love that don't we? Consider it as a means of putting your loving little stamp on him (AKA the first stage of placing him directly under your well manicured thumb). Alternatively, if his bad taste in clothing is unfortunately a reflection of his sucky personality, then it's a great reference point for future mocking. 

(Image Via: The Coveteur. A definite mantra to live by.)  

It sounds hugely superficial, and it is, and we are. Whilst I would never advise the basis of a new relationship be founded on something as trivial as someone's sartorial choices; some people do and I hold my hands up, it is hard to reserve all judgement on first inspection. 

Whether intentional or not, what you wear speaks volumes about you. And we're all a bunch of oglers, if we're not staring at someone, we're Facebook stalking them or googling someone else. We just seem to love a good ol' creep. 

Leandra Medine of 'Man Repeller' fame, has said that her blog is founded upon the idea of fashion that she loves but the opposite sex might find pretty offensive. We're talking harem pants, overalls, anything with a shoulder pad; basically a round up of everything that's probably in your wardrobe right this very minute. I like this idea, there isn't an outfit that I've worn that my family hasn't muttered a comment about or rolled their eyes at. But what I find most interesting, was Leandra's comments about finding someone who loved you beyond your choice of clothing, that person who could see beneath the material. It might sound dramatic and it sure gives a bleak outlook on the world, that we could be so superficial as to choose our prospective partners based on what colour top they may have on, or if their socks match, but sadly I think this might be true. 

I've already gone through the stages of accidental ferreting and I must admit that when I first started dating the boyfriend, I toned down my clothing choices, relegating the more 'out there' looks to the forgotten realms of my wardrobe. It was a conscious decision but it would be a disservice to him for me to imply that he would ditch me over a pair of block wedges or sequin trousers - it was purely my own insecurities. I thought if I looked more 'normal' then it would make me more desirable, but reigning it in really exhausted me. Getting dressed took twice as long and second guessing outfits soon got old very quickly. My fashion sense is pretty much the only thing that I have consistent confidence in, so to undo something that comes quite naturally to me was bloody hard work! 

One day I woke up, put on my pink jeans, my most oversized white tee, and my red velvet, strappy wedges just for the hell of it. I felt at home and wouldn't you know, the boyfriend saw me, smiled and just asked who's driving. I was actually flabbergasted, it was definitely a 'I'ma diiick' moment. I vowed from that day onwards that I'd never alter my lewk to fit someone else's ideal. EVER.

The boyfriend and I give regular input on each other's clothing choices and even more often, ignore that very advice. You love the person not the clothes. So he carries on wearing his bug t-shirt and I continue to cringe at the sight of it, but ey, it works for us.    

In conclusion, I'm gonna keep clicking my Dorothy shoes because I don't give a fuuuuuuck, thank you very much. 

And yes my family still give me weird (but I'm assured, loving) looks!

I'MA DREAMER NO LONGER

The beginning of the week seems like as good a time as any to start something new. I'm not exactly sure what that means. At the moment the 'something' is as vague to me as it is to you reading this. 

(Photo: Chapter Friday)

It's time for a change. Time to bite the bullet, swallow whatever fear plagues me. Two years out of uni and the itchy feet syndrome is getting more serious. I have to do something now before it becomes terminal.

I'm sick of being a dreamer. So here goes. A change is a'coming - hopefully.

I'M LATE! I'M LATE!

In spite of what the title might lead you to believe, no this is not about a pregnancy scare.

You can breathe mum.

If you ask anyone who knows me, even just remotely so, they're probably (definitely) more than likely to state my worst quality as my time keeping, or lack there of. I've thought about this and in the grand scheme of things an aversion to being on time isn't that bad. I mean it's not like I have a drug problem or interrupt people mid-sentence, or steal food off your plate or count joy-riding as one of my recreational pleasures. Time just escapes me.

I suffer with procrastination, but I swear it's accidental. I have every intention of sticking to schedule but important things like picking at split ends, shiny things, half remembered song lyrics, an overwhelming need to fold my socks and an occasional tendency to nod off, just get in the way. It's all totally beyond my control. 

My life is one mad dash and has been so ever since I can remember. One too many stumbles past being on time. It's not a lifestyle choice, it's an affliction. Usually I bumble through, but the amount of near misses (by near misses I mean friends cursing me and proceeding to leave me alone forever) I've had when it comes to the charade of being ready on time, is too many to count and far too many I'd like to admit to. 

So how does one self confessed fashion obsessive manage to get dressed in the short amount of time she allows herself I hear you cry? I won't lie it's sporadic, emotional and if you insist on entering the room mid operation then goggles are a necessity. Now with all that in mind, I welcome you into my room as I prepare to get ready, and yes I'm running late.  

As the proverbial white rabbit dashing through my own disorganised wonderland, I will give you my three, 'fuck I'm so late' saviour outfits. 

No. 1

It's all about distraction. I'm late for drinks with the girls. With alcohol being thrown into the mix I must tread carefully, they will either be merry and none the wiser or ready and waiting. The only thing to do is to utterly blind them. For newbies this can be quite tricky as there is a definite science behind this. So listen up, the vibrancy of your outfit is in direct correlation to how late you are. For every fifteen minutes you keep them waiting, add another brash pattern or bold colour into the mix. In instances of extreme tardiness, it may be necessary for fashion to be forfeited for the sake of prolonged friendship. Yep, it's time to bust out that hidden feather boa, or those psychedelic tights, or even that sequinned leotard or in the worst of cases, all of the above, to insure a welcome of complete dumbfounded-ness. Either that or they'll think you've had a complete breakdown and take pity on you. It's win win really. I also forgot to mention that along with fashion credibility you will also forfeit any prospects of pulling. Ah well, you can't have it all. 

Above is my example of a typical distraction outfit.

The trousers are from Tesco (I know shock!), I love them coz they remind me of my mum's chinaware. The jacket is ASOS, I don't think an explanation is needed for this one, I mean just look at it > B-E-OO-TIFUL. Aztec/tribal blouse from River Island. Heels from H&M. Sorry no feather boa, it's currently at the laundrette.

No. 2

It's Friday night, you're all snuggled up and ready to watch whatever guilty pleasure takes your fancy. You're just about to devour that entire bag of chocolate buttons when your phone vibrants. It's the boyfriend, he'll be over in ten. SHIT! Friday night is Date Night! How could you forget?!! This calls for the good ol' favourites outfit AKA the grab and run. Everyone should have a fallback outfit, one that makes them feel utterly radiant from within. The kind of outfit that needn't be checked in the mirror. A case of fling it on and get out the door. Do not however, fall into the trap of having only one of these life saving outfits. You do not have time to discover that said outfit is currently in the wash. Therefore the first rule is to always, always have fallbacks - plural. Anything with time consuming buttons or fussy straps is a no, corsets are off the menu, regardless of how great they make your cleavage look. My go to look is pretty much always a variation of jeans, a lived in looking tee and my most fabulous pair of shoes - (you're probably going to spend a long time staring down at them whilst grovelling to your boyfriend for the *slight* delay, so this is a must). I would definitely say that jewellery is mandatory in elevating this outfit from blah to brill. I usually swoop the entire contents of my jewellery box into my bag and run. Fussing with clasps and clips can be done en route. 

My offering for this look consists of my all time favourite Madonna t-shirt (that I've cut and pinned within an inch of it's life), my black or possibly camo jeans (camo if I'm trying for an incognito look) and my KG blue & turquoise boots if it's raining (just to really confuse the incognito thing I've half got going on), or if dry, my KG pink & cream checked raffia wedges. I must add that despite the heel height of both of these shoes, they do not inhibit my ability to leg it. Please bear this in mind when getting ready. 

No. 3 

I'm a princess, riding a unicorn, while eating clouds and fairy dust - OH SHIT! No I'm not, I'm asleep and twenty minutes late already. Cue the improvised outfit. This is really only for extreme cases. Look down at yourself. Is your t-shirt/blouse/top clean? If so read on. Are you wearing leggings? If yes then please remove them immediately and grab whatever bottoms are closest to hand and wriggle them on, now. Shake hair, add red lipstick and run. Heels are preferred but gaining access to any is solely dependent on time. Anything goes, apart from flip-flops, please take the time to remove them. Alcohol is pretty essential for this look, think of it as an added accessory. Seriously, it'll make you feel like your outfit is da bomb - not that I'm condoning alcoholism or anything…

I have no outfit for this one because I'm currently wearing a dressing gown so if this wasn't a drill I would be effectively screwed and a mandatory 'I'm sick' phone call would be my only port of call.

Good luck fellow time wasters! Thinking of how you're all getting on with my advice will now be added to the top of my list of 'things to procrastinate over'. Now go forth and live out a watch-free life.

P.S If in doubt just think…

(Photo: Cheap Friday)

SISTER SISTER

I have a sister.

Three years younger, hair twice as thick and the ability to chat at the speed of the Road Runner. She's quite remarkable.

Those are the stats but being one part of a twosome is far more complicated than that. 

I was three years old when it happened. It's vague I must admit, the news shrouded somewhat by my being allowed into the kitchen of the restaurant we were then at. 

It's a label you're either born into or is thrust upon you, no questions asked, no consideration given. POW! You're it. On June 19th 1994 I woke up to a new title and a present for life. But that wasn't it, along with this new tag I'd picked up came attached an impressive prefix - I was now the BIG sister. 

The weight of this didn't quite sink in until the first time my parents lectured, 'you're the eldest, you should know better!' The responsibility that resonated just from that word, 'should' marked my new life. Any fights (that she always started btw) I had sole blame for. 'She's the baby' was said almost daily to justify any 'but that's not fair!' protests I made. 

There was now this mini person, wavering between being my sidekick and my enemy. Despite the growing pains and the arguments that rivalled that of Shaggy and Scooby over the last Scooby Snack; we survived. Twenty years later we're still alive and able to stand each other (most of the time), in fact I'd go so far as to say she's my best friend.

No one knows you like your sister. She's got the honesty of a mother with the fashion courageousness afforded only by youth. 

They can be your best friend, at times your worst enemy and the most fiercely loyal partner in crime you'll ever have. However, the one downside is that unfortunately my sister is a thief. Funnily enough, these kleptomaniac qualities only materialise when inside my room, or to be more specific, when stood before my wardrobe. Shopping trips are just a veil to shop precariously through me because obviously it'll get just as much wear on her (probably even more so) as it will on me!

Her argument is that I have so many clothes that what does it matter if some disappear every now and again? Needless to say this doesn't wash with me - alas as I write this I see her flouncing passed me in my Boy London vest. I think I'm fighting a losing battle.. 

Oh well! Here's to the next twenty years and hopefully two very separate wardrobes!

My Top 5 Fashionable Sister Troops:

NO. 5/ The Kardashians

Love 'em or loathe them, the fifth spot goes to those infamous Kardashians. Well dressed, family orientated, feisty females and who doesn't love a Kardashian brawl?

NO. 4/ The Jenner Girls

All long legs and not a booty in sight. The younger sibs of the Kardashians are a fashion entity in their own right. Model looks and blue hair in tow, these two are practically the poster girls for Young Hollywood right now.

NO. 3/ The Richards Twosome

Alexandra and Theodora Richards, the daughters of rock legend Keith Richards, blonde and dishevelled, utterly sexy and clothes to die for. Sigh... 

NO. 2/ Beyonce and Solange 

A controversial choice maybe, considering the very public explosion that has rocked this notoriously private family but the clothes are good. Simple as that. Maybe my words will bring them together… 

NO. 1/ The Corrs

The 90s is having a comeback - like you didn't know - so who better to take the top spot than the Irish darlings 'The Corrs'? My father's Irish, making them the soundtrack to many a road trip. Not many nine year olds can boast knowing the entire lyrics to all five albums, what can I say, I guess I'm blessed. While I might be a bit rusty now, I have a newfound appreciation for their strappy camisoles, sheer blouses, leather trousers and matching outfits. Here's to Andrea, Sharon and Caroline (Sorry Jim, it's all about the girls right now). 

(The Corrs showing that a well-dressed family can go a long way.)

My sister is back at university for the next few days to finish off her exams. Her wardrobe is left unguarded. You can see where I'm going with this one…

Sister, if you're reading this, all is fair in the sib fashion war. Ciao, I'm off to reclaim my long lost possessions!

(None of the above photos are my own and I do not take any credit for them)

SO YOU WANNA BE COOL?

So the April issue of Nylon magazine just came into my possession. Alas a month late but as the old saying goes, better late than never. And as my affinity with Nylon grows ever stronger so does my rather pedantic fondness for considering and then reconsidering the front cover.

(Never Fear I'm Here To Help)

Arguably the front cover of any magazine is the most important page, I mean granted you've got to have the quality of content to back up what the magazine is boldly putting out there, but it's those statement headlines and snappy one-liners that entice us in.

I mean you get those magazines that make their money purely on their ability to string a good pun together, or make an  unbelievable story that sounds so ridiculous, it might just be true - because you know, people are crazy - so you just have to read it even if it's just for the satisfaction of proclaiming, "I KNEW IT!" E.g 'I Married My Dog'. Turns out the lady in question was the presiding minister at the wedding of her pooch to some other little doggie. Yes, the truth of this story really is strange enough but slightly less bizarre than being led to believe that she was bound in some romantic relationship with her pet dog.

(Cool Thing No.1: Laughter/Fun)

When my mind needs a snooze that's the kinda thing I like to deaden it further with - although one of my lecturers once asked why we choose to switch our minds off at all? He saw it as a complete waste of our potential to absorb all the vast amounts of information surrounding us. However, I would argue that if I hadn't switched off, I'd have never had that little anecdote about the pet marrying woman, leaving this post void of any quippy material to really add panache. I mean wouldn't you agree?

So leaving my old lecturer to eat my dust or shorts or whatever, I'm back in the room. Staring at my Nylon magazine, with Sienna Miller smiling back at me like she's just found out the secret behind Anna Wintour's non-moving bob. Under her name, that's emblazoned front and centre, reads: 'on how to stay cool forever' and then slightly lower down it smugly asserts: 'The It List'.

Now correct me if I'm wrong but I thought Nylon was all about people-power, doing it for yourself and overlooking the norm in favour of what's interesting. So how then can they try to eternalise something as undefinable as 'being cool' and then compile it into an 'it' list, again a term so vague as to seem completely ineffable.

(Cool Thing No.2: Your Friends)

I've often thought about what it is to actually be cool and I've always come up with the same realisation: I am definitely not cool. I typed 'cool' into the dictionary and some stuff about temperature came up (I'm always freezing, skating way past moderately cold (i.e. cool) to chattering bones - it allows me to wear more fabulous clothing at once so I'm not complaining). The next hit was 'permitting such a sensation' - again I'm not so sure I resonate even the slightest whiff let alone the sensation of being cool! - and then finally it read, 'being composed', I mean LOL. For anyone that knows me I'm either a bag of nerves or jittery with excitement, the only time I've ever been close to composure was as a severely drunk teen and I think that was more comatose than anything else.

I followed up my research with a quick google search and as with most online investigations, I ended up on wikipedia. The first thing I discovered was that 'cool' is an ever-changing concept and is widely varied. Great. That's exactly what I already knew. However, it did go on to mention the roots of 'cool' as being an aesthetic of attitude that deviated from conventionality. As social ideology continues to change and boundaries are pushed and challenged how can this ever-fluctuating concept ever be taught and what's more how can Nylon promote this most elusive of ideals as something available to latch on to forever?

(Cool Thing No.3: Creativity) 

It's strange really, everybody goes through that gangly, awkward phase of feeling different and that yearning to just be 'normal' -  because being like everybody else obviously makes you cool. To be cool was(/is) to follow the crowd. However, in hindsight and with my newfound wiki knowledge, if being 'cool' is a rebellion against fixed expectation then it's also an embracement of individual self, so to follow the crowd is quite ironically the epitome of what is 'uncool'. Unfortunately this is only something you learn after those painful years of chasing what is ultimately a fictional dream.

However, with the constant bombardment of 'It' lists here and 'It' people there, it's like the childhood trauma is yet to plague our adult lives too. You want to be successful and be photographed and party 24/7? Then copy what these 'cool' celebs do and you soon could be crowned the next 'It' girl. I mean what a vague, non-meaning term! What the hell is 'It' anyway? If someone just started referring to me as it I'd have a hard time not being offended. Number one, I have a name. Number two, I'm far more complicated than a two letter word and number three aren't sex and other uncomfortable and embarrassing things that one doesn't particularly like to mention in public or around your grandmother, also referred to as it? (And as a side note: Cousin It already coined the name and frankly he owns the title so why steal that from him?)

(Cool Thing No.4: Dancing for no reason) 

As I leisurely strolled out of Tesco yesterday I tried to save a small child's play dough ball from rolling away. Instead I stood on it. 

A few days ago I accidentally referred to the most darling little girl as a little boy. 

I frequently mis-understand things, say the wrong things, walk into things. 

Does that make me uncool? Quite possibly, I guess it depends whose 'cool' barrometer you're going by…

(Cool Thing No.5: Shoes - although these are borderline necessity  over mere 'cool' thing)

After having a week of too many potential disasters and total cringe worthy moments, I declared to my cool sister, just how uncool I really was. Her response kinda shocked me. Most of my toe-curling moments she'd actually lived through herself and what I found most enlightening was how she reminded me that much of today's successful TV programmes are based on the 'quirky' girl (i.e. New Girl, The Mindy Project). I guess the concept of being 'cool' is a vague idea based purely on the 'grass is always greener theory'. One day's epic fail is another day's funny anecdote.

Some things seem to be perpetually 'cool' - the breton stripe, Audrey Hepburn, burping the alphabet… - but actually compiling that list was really quite difficult as most things really don't stay 'cool' for long, merely a phase, transitional like the 'It' bag or the 'It' girl. What gives real longevity is the ability to embrace the kinks in life - and somewhat more challengingly - in yourself.

(Cool Thing No.6: Love)

Either that or it's genetic and my sister and I are doomed to a life of un-abashed 'uncool-ness'. As a self-professed girl of 'un-cool' nature I choose to embrace it.

It's doubtful that the writers and makers of Nylon thought much about labelling a bonafide celeb 'cool' or about composing an 'It' list full of other celebs, but it's this flippant use of such loaded terms and labels that causes so many to crumble under the weight of expectation. Why aspire to something as far removed from reality as this packaged ideal of 'cool' when true coolness is completely innate?

Please ponder this while I move on to my next conundrum: how does one banish VPL when wearing leggings to the gym? Ahh the saga continues. Now that is uncool.

(Cool Thing No.7: Self-Acceptance)

(None of the above photos are my own and I do not claim credit for any of them. If you know the origin then please email me and I'll rectify it)

NIGHT-TIME TRICKS

I'm going out tonight. 'WOO' you'd think, but no. 

I'm stumped. Dressing up baffles me. I love it, but it always comes replete with mad dash, strewn clothes and a mine field of various obstacles that I must leap frog over on my return home.

(Photo from Lust For Life)

Nothing feels more comfortable than jeans & a t-shirt (or to spice things up a whole lot, occasionally a shirt), all nicely tied up with jewels galore and vertigo inducing heels - because no night would be complete without the fun and games that comes from trying to remain upright with both ankles intact.

Who needs tight bandage skirts and midriff baring tops? You'll never have to worry about scraped knees, being pocket-less or bothering with pesky leg stubble. The worst that can happen in a pair of jeans is you'll topple over and scuff the knees (which, in the midst of a distressed denim trend alert, isn't bad at all). And I don't know about you but loose change is always hidden in my back pockets, which comes in very handy when 'creepy guy' slurrily offers for you to share his taxi home. I can proudly count out my coins and firmly decline. Now tell me a bandage skirt could ever save you like that ey? 

I'll make sure to count the number of belly buttons on display tonight and report back, because, as is probably evident from my previous posts, I operate on a strictly need to know basis, and this is something that you need to know - if only to quell this trend of blatant over-exposure.  

MET GA LA LA LA

I've never really taken much notice of the Met Gala or the Costume Institute Gala or the Met Ball. Probably because I've always thought they were different things… However, this year my twitter was inundated with picture upon picture of glamourous reminders of this most exclusive event.

It's basically an event that legitimately allows - no, encourages - celebrities, young and old to don their best - and often most outrageous - get ups and parade down the notorious red carpet to be greeted by the flash, flash of the awaiting paparazzi. Like a glorified dressing up party if you will.

But I have to admit that I like it. I like it a lot. Why can't everyday be a celebratory parade of fashion ey?

Lupita Nyong'o wore an incredible (incredible doesn't always mean good by the way) dress by Prada, but there's something that in my opinion just isn't working. Is it possible to ruin an outfit with an overly matchy clutch bag and an odd headband? There's also something a bit off with the brown slip worn underneath this beaded creation. Would high waisted underwear and some kind of crop top have been an alternative? Or a Kermit T-shirt even?

Blake Lively is an absolute goddess, she looks so fluid in this dress by Gucci Premiere, like liquid gold of the rose variety. And it was custom made don't you know - came with Ryan Reynolds attached. Utter perfection. 

Kim looks like a cross between Victoria Rabbit and an incredibly provocative present that is itself so eager to be unwrapped, is seemingly doing so itself. And it's nice to see Kanye ditch the leather skirt/ gladiator get-ups in favour of this dapper look. Well done Lanvin.

Oh Maggie! I love you so much but you look like an art teacher, who got a bit too carried away with their screen printing experimentation. There's something too casual about this dress that seems quite jarring against it's glamorous setting. Surprisingly, the dress is by Valentino. 

Solange Knowles - previously dubbed the fashionista of the two Knowles' (the other being Beyonce FYI) - missed the mark and lost the crown with this ill-fitting frock by 3.1 Phillip Lim. Sometimes a designers vision doesn't quite transcend on to the body of a real woman and this is a prime example of such an occurrence. Solange has a rockin' bod but she could be smuggling snacks and booze under it for all we know and possibly a fridge to store it all in. Also, bring back the big hair!

And I guess it would be rude to leave out big sister Yonce. I love this seductive dress. I mean is it even a dress? Or just an artfully tied cover up? Either way I like her experimentation but ever present embracement of her curves. So much exposure yet so beautifully balanced out by the swathes of fabric wafting along the infamous carpet. And I'm quite partial to a net headpiece, erring on the right side of coy, just avoiding overtly sexy. Dress by Givenchy Haute Couture.

This reminds me of a Chinese finger trap. Needless to say I'm not feeling it Alexa. I like the colour though. Maybe you should stick to dungarees… Dress by Nina Ricci.

Janelle Monae has a clear 'look' and always seems to riff on two common threads (if you will) - the white shirt and the tuxedo pant. However, it just never gets old with her - always looking pristine, fashion forward but ultimately, and most importantly, true to herself and her own fashion identity. Also who says trousers should be relegated to the realms of meagre work garb? Outfit by Tadashi Shoshi.

AH! I like Rita Ora, I even wrote a blog post dedicated to her, it was cleverly entitled 'She's Ora'ight', needless to say it never fully materialised on to this blog and I'm not sure it ever will now… If Frankenstein's bride and Tinker Bell had a baby then this would be the outcome. My mother always told me that accessories make an outfit but in this case I think it conversely worked to ruin one. Ditch the shoes and the arm bandage and then we'll talk. Dress by Donna Karan Atelier and Casadei gladiator boots.

Joan Smalls reminds me of a moth in this dress, delicate and fragile looking but with a dusty appearance. I wanted to include this outfit not because of the pretty yawn worthy dress but because of the standout purple pout and side fishtail braid. It's the little things that can carry, or in this case detract from, an outfit. Dress by Vera Wang.

Carrying on the purple theme is Nicole Richie. I think I like this dress but to tell you the truth I'm not sure either way. Compared to her usually expressive use of fashion it's definitely on the more conservative side. Maybe she was hoping for a nip slip to get her in the papers? And I can't quite shake the blue rinse connotations that this 'do stirs up.

I have to admit that I'd never heard of the above young lady, who after a quick google I discovered to be Dakota Johnson. However, I'm not going to be forgetting her, or should I say, her outfit. I love a casual luxe look and this is the epitome of just that. Full skirt and what appears to be a simple camisole and just for good measure a pair of glamorous gloves because ya know, t'night's the night for such things. LOVE LOVE LOVE

This is another beaut (and how nice is it to see her with her mouth closed?!) This simple black dress has chic pretty much woven into it. Who needs frills and fuss when there are alluring, sexy and undeniably stylish dresses like this one in creation. Dress by Jason Wu. Jason I wu've you (sorry it had to be done!)

WOW! And then there was this black creation by Dolce & Gabbana. Kate Upton is gorgeous, I mean she's so gorgeous that she still looks hot even with a bowl of funeral flowers on her head. Why would you hide that body under all those frills? Utterly Utterly baffling. 

The Kardashian klan's younger sister, who is fast becoming a fashion darling in her own right; Kendall Jenner looked amazing in this slinky Topshop number. And it's always fun to watch someone shuffle along in these tight fitting fishtail dresses. Wow, I didn't realise how lame I was until I actually admitted getting my jollies out of watching people stumble around in fantastic dresses. I guess it's nice to see that there's a human under all of that couture. 

And to end my round up, here come the girls, or are they old ladies? I guess we'll never know. I like the shapeless, 'cover-up my entire body so I could be confused for a walking laundry pile' look they've got going on but this is a step too far. Where's the fun? Usually these two are my 'one's to watch' however, I'm disappointed, especially with Ashley. Yet they seem to have these magic powers because despite my dislike of the above looks, I'm still completely enthralled by them. Oh well, go figure I guess… 

So here's to next year and you never know, maybe we'll be walking the red carpet then too. Or maybe not, I think the glitz went to my head a bit then. Ciao!!