Do you honestly think I care what I look like?
In short, Yes.
I’ll give you the scenario. I was in work,
when a lady tried on a hat. She turned to her partner to get his opinion. He
responded with a very safe, I mean sweet: “you look beautiful”. To which she
replied, “Do you think I care what I look like?” Ironically she then turned to
look at herself in the mirror and redid her hair.
You could argue that I’m looking too far
into this. I, however, would disagree.
Firstly, this lady not only felt that she needed
reassurance but also approval and despite getting this, her default response was
self-mockery and a very defensive and utterly transparent ‘I-reeeally-don’t-care-honest-I-don’t’
retort.
Secondly, I feel that this one lady is not
alone. I see her as the ‘Everywoman’.
But before I attempt to pick apart the
aesthetic worries of all womankind I think I should start by introducing myself.
Hello, my name is Sophia and I cannot leave the house without makeup on. I’d
like to say that just through this confession that a huge weight has been lifted,
but I’d be lying.
For me I cannot think of many things worse
than having to leave the house sans makeup - obviously in reality there are
many, many things worse, like snagging your tights or your stripey Bretton top
running in the wash... (I kid, I kid) I understand the superficiality of this
but nevertheless I figured it was worth investigating my neurosis.
So lets start from the beginning, what does
make-up mean? In its basic form when applying cosmetics you are ‘making
yourself up’. It’s a grown up form of playing pretend, a way of temporarily
transforming yourself, or your face at least. I’d like to draw upon one of my
favourite trios of all time (cue eye rolls); the Kardashians. Yep, despite the
controversy surrounding them and their family life, and the criticism over their
status as bonafide A-listers, you can’t deny their flawless make-up.
Much has been made of - and many have
attempted to emulate- the unique way in which Kim in particular has her make-up
applied. One word: contouring. This handy trick sculpts the face, adds
definition, plus highlights and slims both cheeks and, if necessary, can
minimize larger features. It’s liquid magic; trickery right from a little
bottle – actually quite a few bottles, all in different colours, multiple
brushes, not to mention an expert hand... – but I digress. My point is that in
this day and age, anything is possible; with make up at least. You don’t like
the shape of your eyebrows? Draw them on, fill them in, change their colour if
you fancy. Thin lips? Lip plumper and a well-matched lip liner should do the
trick. I’m no beauty expert but generally the twenty-first-century girl knows
plenty of ways and means to alter her appearance. This, I would argue, is due
in large part to the mass pressure of social expectation.
We aren’t all blessed with a face like Kim
Kardashian- or the finances to keep up such an image – but why should we feel
like we have to apologise for this? In doing ourselves up, what is it that we’re
‘making up’ for exactly?
When I put on my daily dose of foundation
I’m not just trying to even out my skin colour. Oh no, that would be far too
simple. I’m covering up my skin, trying desperately to get it to blur in with
the tide line of fake tan that reaches just under my chin. I’m pale. I live
with it but I don’t like it. Countless times I’ve been asked by worried
onlookers “are you ill?” or “do you feel okay?” and whilst I’m sure this
curiousity comes from a deep place of compassion, I can’t help but want to run
into a very hard wall. ‘NO I’m not ill thank you very much, I’m just testing
out au naturel, which is something I will NEVER do again.’ A quick rummage/dive
into my makeup bag, to desperately rectify my ‘problem’, and in no time at all
I’m a lovely shade of Maybelline ‘sand beige’. Yes, it says it all. By
reattaching my cosmetic safety mask, my flaws are well and truly hidden or at
least blurred. Afraid of standing out from the crowd, I crave to be ‘sand
beige’. Have you ever heard someone being described as ‘beige’ in a positive
way. “Oh yeah, Frida is so much fun, she’s totally beige”. Somehow I don’t
think it’s going to catch on, you might as well just call me vanilla.
A friend of mine in work suggested we go
bare for comic relief. I’d seen the adverts but I still desperately clung to
the idea that she meant lets all come in naked. Alas I was wrong. Luckily this
idea was forgotten. Not only was I relieved but I think all the big shots at
‘Very-Popular-Department-Store-That-I-Work-In’ should heave a group sigh of
relief too. I guarantee they’d have seen a stark decline in sales if I’d been
let on to the shop floor in that state.
As I’m writing this it’s hard not to notice
that I too am re-enacting what the lady that started off this post did. In my
very long-winded and slightly repackaged version I too am self-deprecatingly
mocking myself in a bid to hide my insecurities. A dear friend once told me I
looked like ‘Thomas the Tank’ – pale face and dark neck. Of course I laughed my
hurt off but on reflection he wasn’t mocking my 'problem' pale skin, he was
mocking the contrast of my dark neck against
my pale skin. A dark neck that wasn’t really my own. In trying to hide my flaws
I in effect highlighted them and whilst doing so managed to look like some ridiculous,
and not to mention, weird zebra/girl hybrid.
We live in a society crazed by appearance
and in this narrow ideal we are all supposed to fit. Can this ever be possible?
But regardless of this we all still try. This obsession with ‘perfection’ is
an empty quest. Very few people will ever be one hundred percent comfortable
with themselves but it seems to me that we never even try. It’s far easier to
cover, hide, alter, mask, or even surgically remove our ‘flaws’ but what about
trying to love, or at the very least accept them.
I see makeup in one of two ways;
1) A means to an end... of individuality. How many orange faced, spider-eyed, pastel lipped girls do you see walking around everyday. Yes, I think my point is made.
2) A means of making you look better, more attractive and the thing we all crave the most; normal. I hope you're sensing the sarcasm here. I'd love to meet the person who set the standard of normality or who defined the narrow ideals of what is deemed attractive.
The bare faced truth (groan) of the matter is however, that there is no unequivocal definition of beauty and unfortunately there isn't one person who created the rigorous set of rules that we all clamber to abide by. I'm sure that if there was, they'd have been captured and tortured long ago, but alas it is a lot harder to change the minds of the masses. It is 'us', the all encompassing 'we' that have put these pressures on ourselves.
During a particularly raucous seminar, one girl decided to slate not only makeup but the women who wear it. She declared that it was unfeminist because women only wear it to attract men. Now steady on, I can't argue that she was wholly wrong in that some people do wear makeup to attract the opposite sex, but to label it unfeminist is a bit much. Makeup is a form that allows women to take ownership of their bodies. It is a means of self-expression, something feminism triumphs. I do however wish that the narrow field of what is thought of as beautiful, who is beautiful and what measures one is expected to take to reach this level of beauty were expanded.
Makeup is something that should be enjoyed but we should love ourselves just as much with it off as we do with it on. It should be remembered that beauty doesn't have to only be skin deep. On this very rare occasion I’m going to quote Tyra Banks, who suggested in this months copy of Nylon magazine, that we should celebrate not shun our “flawsome characteristics”. Now I’m not usually the type of gal who supports such catch phrases as those that have typified Tyra’s career (I mean 'smize', smiling with your eyes? Really?!) but her motivational outlook in this instance really caught my attention. The only thing flawed here is our perception.
I can't promise that I'll be walking around makeup-free but I will stop texting my boyfriend to 'warn' him before he comes over. This is very much a work in progress but it's something I think all women should undertake with me. Grab a makeup wipe, scrub that face and walk out that door with me... or maybe just open the door to the postman without cowering into the folds of your dressing gown. Baby steps.
