DOWNSIZING

Ah the great debate: to clutch or to carry all. Are you the little old lady who lived in her handbag? Or the minimalista - with capabilities beyond my own - who can survive by just her lipstick and credit card alone?

I see those women with their magic powers of minimisation. Those who aren't fibbing when they say that they strictly carry only the essentials (and said essentials can be counted on one hand). I envy that but then I quite enjoy being prepared for the randomness that is life. It's raining? I've got a mac. Shoes are rubbing? I've got plasters, choose which colour. You're feeling peckish? Let me get out my lunchbox. Yes, it's impressive that you can fit your life into what is essentially the same size as a standard envelope - you obviously don't belong to the iPhone 6 plus tribe. However, I can't help but think that Mary Poppins wouldn't quite have had the same wonderment if she'd chosen to accessorise with a teeny tiny clutch. 

Yet with that being said, the constant inability to locate your keys, ever, is quite the annoyance for everyone involved. So I decided to downsize for a time. To see what it was like to squish my life into an 8"x6" clutch bag. Granted it's not the smallest out there but I figured baby steps had to be taken to wean myself off the 'everything, including the kitchen sink' mentality I had come to adopt as the norm. 

(Provocative statement + teddy bear = the complexities of me)

Day 1

So far everything is okay, but considering the criteria for this is just that I woke up minus a cold, that I thought for definite was oncoming, it doesn't say much regarding the de-cluttering of my 'carry-all' lifestyle. I've chosen the bag du jour, a bright blue Zara number, replete with witticism stamped across the front because that's just how I roll... On leaving the house I met my first hurdle: how to close the door. With my bag held tightly under my arm, phone perched precariously between two fingers and the keys dangling lamely in my other hand, the door was eventually closed, but I was too flustered to go on. Missing my bag strap far too much, I stopped for a starbucks and then retreated home - I won't bore you with the difficulties of carrying two coffees and a clutch bag, however, I will say that it was a lesson in dexterity. 

(How can something so beautiful be so evil?)

 Day 2

I opted for a different clutch today, I'm sure you can understand why... Bag number two had a loop strap at the zip, allowing the wearer to handily hook it over their wrist. Jewellery posed a hindrance to this and the incessant jangling led me to go bangle-free - a huge deal if you know me or happen to have read this. Being able to lift up both arms simultaneously felt like a luxury after the antics of the previous day, yet I hadn't quite got control of the free swinging bag and I'm sorry to say that a few people were met with an *accidental* clout. Comparatively speaking, this was a good day. However, getting my bag jammed in the car door was a low point, a very cringey, low point. 

(Small and yet not so mighty)

Day 3

So on the final day of my experiment I chose what is in effect a glasses case. So tiny was this 'bag', that I had to resort to ousting my purse and going it alone with small change and credit card. My phone doesn't even fit which leaves my pocket stuffed - an unsightly side effect to this trial. There was one near fatal incident where bag was put down and... After slight heart stoppage I did retrieve my minute companion. However, it was enough to make me reassess the whole situation altogether. 

Whilst acknowledging the need for material things to a certain extent, it's good every now and again to experience a cleanse of sorts. Knowing that I can survive without stuff is exhilarating, yet I cannot deny the comfort that carting around the necessities (regardless of how necessary they actually are) gives me. And as a side note, it was a marvellous exercise in personal space and personal property awareness. Never take your eyes off the prize kids! So yes, clutch over carry-all can be done, but perhaps the real question is, whether you actually want to do it? 

(All images taken by OJ Creative)

THE WEEKLY ROUND-UP

It's tell a fairy tale day today - I've got nothing, but I do have this nifty round up of vaguely interesting stuff, so read on my friend, or, you know, just look at the pictures... 

It's raining, it's pouring, yet I am certainly not snoring because this week began with the Oscars, some bizarre, though I'm assured, edible treats, a gadget that is actually worth knowing about and a new formed fancy that I'm certain you'll totally agree with and it's only Thursday, which still leaves plenty of time for the possibility of more things you just need to know about.  

(Love, that is all)

1/ Girl Crush

I don't know much about Margot Robbie, other than what I discovered whilst watching 'Top Gear' - she's Australian and can drive a rally car faster than Will Smith - plus what I've seen of her in 'The Wolf Of Wall Street' - you all know the scene I'm talking about, right? She was already on my radar (she turned up to 'Top Gear' with an oversized leather jacket slung nonchalantly over her shoulders, nuff said really) but after seeing her Oscar's outfit I think she may have reached girl crush status. All blonde hair, luminescent skin and pillar box red lips, Robbie appeared like a modern day Marilyn Monroe (minus the subway grate) in her cleavage baring, 70's embracing Saint Laurent gown. Love the tassel beaded necklace too. How many times can you say that you love someone before you know, stalker? 

(Never eat ice-cream in the dark again)

2/ Feeding Off The Rave  

Robbie's birthplace is also responsible for something delightful(?), disgusting(?) I guess it depends where you fall on the fun scale... Yes, what have you been coveting your whole entire life? UV ice-cream I hear you cry? Well it's your lucky day, a pop-up parlour named '196 Below', has er, popped up, serving vibrant scoops of dairy-free and vegan, ice-cream. Apparently it's a UV reactive liquid food colouring that has been certified by TGA and not the inside of glow sticks (your mum was definitely right when she said not to suck those...) So will you be making the trip Down Under to literally taste the (UV) rainbow? 

3/ Hair's To Thinking Before You Speak   

Yey for freedom of speech! However, some thing's are just better left unsaid. Wouldn't you agree, Giuliana Rancic? Even as a minor celebrity, far removed from reality in television land, sat snugly between your panel of 'fashion-know-it-alls', casually goofing off there is a fine line between banter and just plain bad taste. During the Fashion Police's Oscars special, Rancic said that Zendaya, who sported dreadlocks, smelt like "patchouli oil... and maybe weed". The show known for mocking celebs and their styling mishaps usually 

errs away from outright offence, yet in this instance the typical lolz fell flat. Rancic has since apologised and clarified that she was referring to a "bohemian chic look". As the saying goes, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.  

(Before you take the lop, read on)

4/ Mane-tainence Guide

You know how everyone seemed to have thick, voluminous, 'I just woke up like this' hair last year? Well it looks like this year the style gods all got together and vetoed the boho style of yore in favour of this new, more manageable style. And what is this new style, well it's the shaggy bob. See Kimmy K, Sienna Miller (haute bohemia - aka mobo - patron), Emma Stone, Lauren Conrad, Bruce Jenner... For those of us not as snap happy - not to mention who aren't blessed with expert extension putter-inners - there is a gadget called the 'StyleEasy' bob styler. I have no idea how it works but it costs £4 and can be found in Asda, so is surely worth chancing. Now go forth and let your yo-yo hairstylings loose at your every whim. 

(Happier times, during Madonna's 1995 Brits performance, that didn't see her on her arse but did see some weird flailing around the stage...)

5/ Brit's That Time Again

She flashed her arse during the Grammys and now Madonna's at it again. This time however, going arse backwards whilst performing at last night's Brit awards. Very few can handle the power of the cape, a lesson Madonna unfortunately learnt in front of the world. In other just as important news, Kanye West hooked Nick Jonas up last night. I know what you're thinking, but though Kris likes em' young it was actually a call of nature that brought out the best in Yeezus, aiding Jonas in his time of need with his open door policy; to his toilet. When you've got to go, you've got to go, and it's nice to Know that though Ye will take over a Nandos and cuss a lot on primetime TV, he is actually the fairy godmother of lav emergencies. Kim will be so proud.    

Also, have you heard of the Backstreet boys? You know, the five piece, guy group, they were kinda a big in the 90s? Well they've released 'Show Em' What You're Made Of', a behind the scenes look at the boyband. Why this should interest you I'm not quite sure, but 'I Want It That Way' will forever remain a karaoke classic - FACT. In other news, Karlie Kloss and Doutzen Kroes are hanging up their wings and leaving the glitter of Victoria's Secret behind them to fulfill other modelling commitments/ taking over the world. FKA Twigs took the best dressed for me last night at the Brits in an Alexander McQueen, harness topped, flare legged, embellished skirt overlay. She looked edgy and sexy whilst still flying her fashion freak flag. And because no round up would be replete without Kim Kardashian making an appearance, the selfie 'extraordinaire' epically failed last night, whilst attempting a masterclass in selfie-taking mid stage with Ant and Dec, forgetting to unlock her phone and ending up selfie-less (which is in no way to be confused with 'selfless' btw).       

(Images via: vogue.com, independent.co.uk, popsugar.com, pretty-hairstyles.com, mad-eyes.net & dailymail.co.uk) 

REVIVAL OF THE FITTEST: WHO PRESSED MUTE ON FASHION'S CREATIVITY?

Some may consider fashion frivolous. I however, maintain that it is in fact complicated. Though that's not to say that it isn't humorous and at times borderline ridiculous. I love fashion, but more than that, I appreciate fashion. Recently someone said that 'I'm all about fashion', in that's what I think about, talk about, write about; it's what I do. It can be alienating at times, I'm the only person I know who reads the tiny credits in the corners of magazine spreads citing which brands are featured, or who enjoys researching collections as a past time. We all have our idiosyncrasies, you know, our 'thing', and this just so happens to be mine.

(Looking beyond the layers at the Comme des Garçons SS15)

However, whilst flicking through the SS15 edition of 'Elle Collections' (I have the Cara Delevingne version if anyone cares) I was struck by how comical the looks at the Comme Des Garçons and Junya Watanabe SS15 shows were. Now fashion has never pretended to be serious, the best designers are the ones who realise that ultimately what they are doing is making clothing, and I say this not to belittle their talents, but to reinforce the fashion industry's very evident self awareness. It is a business and it never pretends that it's not. However, fashion is also a form of escapism, creativity incarnate and when the two things conflate (the business and the party shall we say) it acts to create an antagonistic knot at the centre of it all. 

Yesterday I read an article by Nicole Phelps over on style.com, titled 'Déjà Vu All Over Again: Questioning Fashion's Retromania', now as you can imagine I was intrigued. Phelps asserted that: "fashion and art [...] have become do-over cultures, with designers and painters alike recycling the past (near, distant, and points in between) at such speeds it's hard to keep up". I found this point really interesting, we are a culture of copy and pasters - albeit with a few tweaks made - but is that enough for fashion to be considered relevant, and to instill in us an excitement and anticipation, if ultimately what we're seeing is a 're-hashing'? 

(Junya Watanabe SS15)

It's a tricky one, the internet has made so many things possible (where would we be without wikipedia come deadline day?!) but with so much information just one click away, lifting history from it's context and planting it into the future is unnervingly easy and it isn't necessarily conducive to adding new relevance to something. Along with the proliferation of the internet is the tremendous growth in technology and ease of travel. The world has never seemed smaller and thus people are easily bored. Cue Comme des Garçon's designer Rei Kawakubo and Junya Watanabe, who Phelps describes as both "conceptual, [and] forward-looking", a rarity in these jaded times.  

Perhaps it comes down purely to a matter of personal opinion and tastes, which is fine by me, but the designs at both shows were plain bonkers. At Junya Watanabe outfits could easily be mistaken for abstract art or an update on the well known Roland McDonald attire. Rei Kawakubo took inspiration from roses and blood and whilst her stringent focus on the theme should be commended, I struggled to compute the cone legged trousers and plastic 'shark fin' rain hood. 

(Another look from Kawakubo)

Perhaps my brain is too lateral because these looks are undeniably visceral and uncompromisingly true to each design houses' aesthetic, but I just didn't 'get it'. Maybe that's what keeps the fashion world so enraptured with the designers' though? It is refreshing to witness such freedom of expression, irregardless of the corporate pressures or bottom lines, which is what mutes many other designers' creativity. 

Will I be wearing any of the collections? No - I can't afford anything (lol!) - but this has been an interesting exercise. The beauty in these designs is that they do not ask to be liked, they are reactionary and thus inspire reaction, whether that be of love or hatred, and to that end I have new appreciation for what is the antithesis, and definite antidote, to the blandness that has overrun for far too long. I may not be running out to buy pinking shears and walking around with a fish bowl on my head, but I'm certainly ready to say so-long to normcore. Soz Phebs!

(All images via vogue.com)

5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

It's Tuesday, which means that Monday mooching is no longer a viable excuse for your listlessness. I'm afraid that we are officially into the week. To ease the blow that I have just delivered, I give unto you, this week's offering of all things that you need to know - also it's Shrove Tuesday AKA pancake day. If that doesn't upturn the corners of your mouth then I'm sorry to say but you're a lost cause. It's minus any fashion week news btw - more of that to come. So enjoy the fruits of my labour and pop culture's ability to continually shock and excite.      

1/Stop Right Now

Did you get my sneaky little reference there or was it the picture that gave it away? I'll stop stalling now, hitting up the number 1 space is the release of four new Spice Girls songs. Recorded as part of their final studio album Forever, all the way back at the start of the aughts, the songs didn't make the cut, but fast forward fifteen years and here they are. They weren't wrong when they sang 'Viva Forever'. 

2/ Six Years Later & No Change

Kanye is known for a lot of things, namely his man cleavage, booty-baring wife and his incomprehensible rants, oh yeah, and he's a rapper/(auto-tuned) singer. Kanye West is full of self-importance, exemplified during the 2009 Grammy's when he stormed Taylor Swift's acceptance speech, a party trick he thought he'd bust out again at this year's festivities during Beck's 'moment'. The world's reaction was a sequence of shocks - in the plural. At first we were aghast - not again!- then it was like, 'wow Yeezus got a sense of humour' and then it came to light that actually it was the two-double-zero-nine all over again. Though Ye was quick to point out that he has no problem with Beck, it's with the establishment and he hopes that he and Beck can 'still go play basketball and stuff'. A case of bad timing? or just someone caught up in their own self-involved disillusionment? 

3/ The Name Game 

You can find out some seriously interesting stuff on the internet, for example did you know that Zara was almost called Zorba after the film 'Zorba The Greek'? However, a bar in the same area had already snagged the name, so after a quick shimmy around of the letters, et voila! Zara was born and the rest as they say is history. Read more at whowhatwear.

4/ Update on the baby name

So we know who the baby daddy is of Blake Lively's baby girl (Ryan Reynolds FYI), but we still don't know the name. Until now - sort of. Blake and Ryan may or may not have named her James. An odd name  for a girl some might say, but gender fluidity is widely becoming recognised (the fashion industry has long embraced androgyny, Selfridges is to stock gender neutral fashions and ye old 'pink is for girls, blue is for boys' adage has long been thought restrictive). Plus, to go by other Hollywood tots, she could have ended up bearing the name of a fruit... It's all about perspective guys.

  
5/ The Real Supermodel 

Cindy Crawford needs no introduction, among the 'Big Six', lauded for her exceptional beauty and now the (albeit unintentional) catalyst for the great body debate after an un-retouched photo of her was leaked. The discussion that has ensued has weighed in heavily on this dichotomy between the 'ideal' and the 'flawed'. Is it a flaw if one doesn't have a six pack? Do you really need taut skin to be considered 'ideal'? Retouching is a powerful tool, it conceals the very realness that we try to escape, it is both aspirational and destructive, and this is surely a positive step towards the female body being universally accepted in all its natural beauty. To borrow Tyra Banks' term (it doesn't happen often so don't be put off) we should embrace the 'flawsome' - awesome because of their very 'flaws' - a powerful sentiment of self-acceptance.   

This was also the week that saw Drake drop a surprise album, '50 Shades Of Grey' hit the big screen (I'm watching it tonight, eek), the controversial Mars One Project come one step closer to fruition (with five Britons shortlisted for the one way trip) and Kimmy K managed to appear naked whilst seemingly wearing 'clothes' (unless anyone other than Jane Fonda considers a bodysuit 'clothes'). A picture is needed of this last one to punctuate my point with an emboldened exclamation! 

(There's nothing like ending on a WTF?!?!?)

(Image via: mirror.com, sickchirpse.com, visituzbekistan.travel, popsugar.com, smh.com.au & whowhatwear.com)

THE SEASONAL SHIFT

Just when the looks of spring/summer 15 are actually seeming almost wearable, fashion month sneaks up and the focus shifts to autumn/winter 15. Yes it's cyclical but my gosh, sometimes it feels like the spinning wheel on a game show, flying at such a rapid speed as to leave one dumbfounded and as helpless as a gambler watching the roulette wheel in anticipation. 

(Brights are where it's at, according to Burberry Prorsum SS15 that is)

Though I wouldn't like to hedge my bets by predicting what may or may not appear for the upcoming season ahead, I thought a recap of  SS15 would be well, just fun for me to write - a purely selfish exercise really. After all, no one would blame you for getting slightly confused as to what season we're in, what season is to come and what season we're currently awaiting, heck it might even be a handy reminder as to what year it is! So here goes, my round up of what was shown last year, in anticipation for this year. 

(There certainly ain't no bells and whistles with these shoes, except, er, for the bell detailing...) 

Celine, the house that pioneered the normcore look, that was emulated by every fashion-y person, - perhaps apart from Anna Dello Russo and Iris Apfel - during 2014, is striving to make the 'ugly', fashionable. This season the birkenstock and the Stan Smith trainers were ousted in favour of orthopaedic, elasticated shoes. Short of embracing the croc, I can't think of anything less aesthetically pleasing.  

(SS15 at Saint Laurent was like a round up of all the 70's hits)

Saint Laurent was by far my favourite. A heady mix of 70's rock 'n' roll, miniature hemlines, plunging cleavage and a cool girl mix of leopard and red, oh and a dose of suede for good measure. I need a platform shoe, stat!

(Hippie Princess/Super woman hybrid at Valentino SS15)

Valentino channelled it's inner hippie, with an ethereal collection of folkloric floor-length dresses, broderie anglaise shift dresses and flowers blossoming among tiers of fabric, all paired with a subtle gladiator sandal. 

(Dark romanticism strode down the runway at Erdem SS15)

Erdem must have got the memo, as they too embraced the sublime, albeit in a far moodier, tangible sense. Models appeared as fairies hiding in the woods and were outfitted in lattice-laced gladiator sandals. I sense that a trend is a-coming.

(Frayed denim, patchwork suede, brocade, oriental silk, leather... the only thing missing was the kitchen sink at Prada SS15)

Prada was a homage to the decade championed this season by all, yep, you guessed it, the 1970s. Miuccia made a case for the platform, clog shoe and the sock/sandal combination - as did Jil Sander.  

(Yes, that is Karlie Kloss under there)

It wasn't the most memorable show for Marc Jacobs with regards to the fashion. The models - sans makeup - looking like an army of porcelain dolls, walking around a ginormous pink house, was more noteworthy than the utility garb that they we bedecked in - though that does promise to be a big trend too. 

(Making a case for 'mellow-yellow' over at Chloe SS15)

Chloe and Dior might have just converted me over to the yellow side of life - a colour I have a severe aversion towards. The key, it seems, is to go all out in monotone, accessorised with washed out denim and bohemian tousled waves a la Chloe, or paired with pale pink and striking black like the futuristic looks of Dior. 

(Convict stripes never looked so good)

Givenchy embraced a palette of blush tones and rose gold, offset with rivet-studded detailing, beetlejuice-esque stripes and thigh high ghillies. Nothing like the showgirl costume worn by Madonna to the Grammys I might add!

(Statment making: joining the cause or jumping on the zeitgeist?)

I've already mentioned the collections shown at Comme Des Garçons and Junya Watanabe here; blue is it at Emporio Armani; Balenciaga was futuristic; Chanel held a contentious protest march, and Burberry Prorsum is still breathing new life into the stalwart trench coat, with the addition of the shrunken denim jacket and layers upon layers of tulle. 

And that's it, wasn't that fun? Now get ready for the new slew of designs all yet to be shown, dissected and on a highstreet near you.  

(Images via: dailymail.co.uk & vogue.com)

HORROR AT MY HOROSCOPE

I like reading my horoscope - make of that what you will. I don't live life by them and more often than not I forget what they've actually prophesied, but even so a perusal is a must. Whilst scrolling through 'The Coveteur' I noticed their 'Astrology Zone' by Susan Miller, and well, I couldn't resist. 

Some of what I read was scarily on point (perfectionist, blah, blah, blah), other bits left me in hope (a career is supposedly in the midst of late next year) and some had me questioning whether I was reading the right sign (my best feature is my stomach?!!), but what got me thinking was Virgo's apparent affinity for nature. I like waking up and seeing a glorious day staring back at me, I love hearing the little birds titter away, I can be convinced into going for a walk but mostly I keep nature at arms length. Hayfever and a childhood plagued with weird rashes from grass, pollen, shrubs, actually just about anything outdoorsy, has left me on high alert around the labours of Mother Nature. 

Susan Miller states that Virgos' are inextricably linked to nature, being born at the time of the Harvest, they are imperative to the letting go of summer and the preparation of autumn. Therefore their colours reflect the darkening of the landscape: hunter green, chocolate brown, teal blue and navy. Apart from brown - which I don't tend to wear so much of - I could get on board with this recommended colour palette. However, Miller asserts that Virgos' rule the tiny flowers on the mountain side and in the fields, thus making anything floral feel completely 'you'. 

(Orla Kiely SS15 - masterclass in kitsch flower power)

But hang on, I'm a Virgo, I'm 'me' and I don't own a single floral anything. Does this mean that in fact I'm not 'me' at all? Is this where I've been going wrong all these years? Melodramatics aside, I did wonder why I'd avoided florals all this time. Was it a conscious decision that I'd subconsciously forgotten about? I figured that with spring fast approaching maybe it's time to change my ways. It might be nice to wear something emblazoned with the very thing that usually sends me into a sniffling mess, like Superman fashioning a kryptonite necklace to prove what a badass he is. 

Like synergy or perhaps it's just that weird 'they know everything' thing that mother's have, my own walked in with a floral blouse and it was brown, making that two of Miller's boxes ticked in one wispy ruffled blouse. I've yet to wear it yet but that's only because I'm waiting for the perfect flared jeans to appear. I think they'll make the perfect partnership - although Miller never said anything about Virgos' denim preferences so I'll have to go this one alone and hope Mercury doesn't go into retrograde on me or something.

  

(HOH SS15 - showing that florals don't have to be ditsy)

I also discovered that Paris is Virgo-ruled - I think that means that when I get there I'll get a parade in honour of my zodiac sign or something - and for Virgos', "god will always be in the details", which is pretty much code for sartorial pendanticism and I love it. I'll keep you updated throughout the year on the correlation between reality and my forecasted horoscope. To check out what's going on with your zodiac sign click here >>> 

(Image via: thecoveteur.com, designscene.net & fashionistabarbieuk.com) 

7 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

(Queen Bey might be more apt from now on)

1/ Beyonce at Harvard

After Bey releasing her self titled (and very secretive) album in 2013, the educators over at Harvard university commissioned a study into her many talents - I assume from a business perspective of course. Now that's an elective worth jumping on a plane for, wouldn't you agree? Perhaps field trips would involve backstage access. I can only dream... 

(The lipstick that inspired a million wannabes)

2/ Saving You Dollar Bills

Last week I wrote about the infamous, and permanently sold out, Mac 'Velvet Teddy'. Despite the product still evading my make-up bag, I have found a doppelgänger so good that it's pretty much the cosmetic incarnation of Lindsay Lohan in 'The Parent Trap' (she played both of the twin sisters, Hallie Parker and Annie James, in the film. Get my reference now?) Perhaps I should own up and admit that it was in fact my sister (aka the make-up maverick) who discovered the dupe of the 'Velvet Teddy' in the form of Topshop's 'Boardroom'. A moody purple/brown hue, that has lovely pigmentation, great staying power and blend-ability, and is roughly half the price of Mac's runaway lipstick. What's not to like ey? 

(A snack for the fashionable)

3/ Yoghurt Just Became Fashionable

Julien Macdonald is synonymous with glitz, glam and, how shall I put it? bronzed skin. But his lesser known talents lie in the yoghurt industry, namely as Müller's chief yoghurt pot designer. Apparently the collaboration has been ongoing since September of last year (cleverly released around fashion week), and his signature bedazzling is featured on two flavours: strawberry and vanilla. When interviewed Julian said: "My Müllerlight pots are the ultimate fashionable treat and at 99 calories or less, it's a moment on the lips that you can enjoy." How delightful!

(The good ol' days)

4/ The Reunion

So far 2015 has been somewhat of a renaissance, what with fashion riffing off of the 1970s in a big way, and now following suit is the reemergence of what can only be described as a classic: Saved By The Bell (I bet you started humming the theme tune as soon as you read that). Zach, AC Slater, Kelly, Jessie and Mr Belding all reunited in a little sketch on the set of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. And despite the rather blinding attire, all involved looked surprisingly unchanged and no that's not nostalgia talking, check out Elizabeth Berkley if you don't believe me! Screech and Lisa weren't present - Screech is currently facing jail time after a Christmas day brawl and Lisa has remained out of the spotlight among claims of her suffering from a 'crisis', something she later refuted. How things have changed since their cherub-faced days, but at least we got to see Slater in a unitard.    

(Making men fall into pools is a bonus)

5/ Making History 

History was made last week when Ashley Graham became the first plus-sized model to feature in Sports Illustrated - a shocking revelation really. The size 16 model fronts the new ad campaign for 'Swim Suits For All' and to say it has garnered some attention would be an understatement! The issue also featured fellow plus-sized model, Robyn Lawley in the editorial section of the magazine making it a doubly note worthy read. When asked if curves are merely a 'trend', Graham replied that curves may be in but they are not a trend, adding that the emphasis should rest on her being a model not on her being considered 'plus sized'. Here, here. 

  

(Trips to the menswear department of M&S will just have to do then. Humph)

6/ It Ain't Happening

I like to read - a pre-requisite for an English Literature degree really. I got into the Harry Potter thing, attempted the Twilight series and then 50 Shades of Grey hit. Huge pause. I had to read it just to see what all the fuss was about. I was rather nonplussed to be honest but at least I can say that I was part of the zeitgeist, if only for a short while. And now the film. Do I have tickets to see it? Yes, pre-booked actually. Am I ashamed? No, you know why? because Vogue wrote an article on it, making it high brow and officially O.K to talk about in educated circles. The focus of the article rested on David Gandy and his turning down of the role of Christian Grey as he, "likes what he does" and "doesn't feel the need to act". And that, I'm sorry to say, is a decision that we'll all have to live with ladies and gentleman. 

(That's one way to smuggle crashers in)

7/ It's All About The Clothes Dahling

The Grammy's, forget the awards, (who cares about that anyway?) it's all about the outfits. Yes it sounds fickle and wholly materialistic, er because it is. Rihanna came as a blancmange - albeit a couture one; Madonna donned fishnet tights, which should be where it ends, but there was a weird beret/chef's hat hybrid and a showgirl cast off that sought to hoist her boobs up around her ears (and to top it off she flashed her arse); Kim K debuted a new tousled bob and her cleavage, which is fast becoming a bore; Lady Gaga was toned down in a tin foil/mermaid mash up, as was Nicki Minaj; Charli XCX rocked what can only be described as a magician's outfit; Prince took the memo of the 70's revival a bit too literally, looking like he'd been teleported straight from the heady era and the Gwen tied with Kylie Jenner for the sartorial gong of outfit of the night. Now you can consider yourself all caught up.     

Also check out the article I wrote for The Metropolist, it's about shoes, you'll like it :)

Images via: mirror.co.uk, lipstickalley.com, brandcamp12.blogspot.com, nypost.com, ustoday.com & spin1038.com) 

WINTER TIME DRESSING FOR THE COLD & FASHIONABLE

Winter Time Dressing For The Cold & Fashionable by sophia2a 

It's winter, which means that by default it's cold outside. 'Brrr...' I hear you shudder. Well, I feel you. So while I was all tucked up in bed, desperately trying to keep my appendages from dropping off altogether, I headed straight on over to Polyvore and suddenly winter didn't look so bad. 

Strappy, neglige looking top thing (who needs to know that you've got a heat-tech, thermal on under it ey?) Oversized knit jumper, preferably in grey - because everything looks better in the shade that is London smog. A statement necklace (AKA the draught excluder) replete with elaborate (& heavy) detailing to look both pretty and firmly weigh down that jumper's neckline from flapping in the wind. A wine coloured coat because: A) no spills will show up on it and B) I think a good dose of maroon hued anything will lessen the winter blow fo' so'. Some jeans of the skinny variety - though tights will be strategically hidden underneath. The scrappy sandals are purely for show, because I'm not completely crazy and my toenails haven't seen a coat of nail varnish since the days of yore when Kim K actually kept her clothes on. The black, metal tipped boots however will do very nicely, and promise to incubate my little feet very nicely. A make believe classic Chanel handbag, which I maintain, I will own one day, and Chanel perfume, because this is a touch of Chanel that I do own. The End.

Alternatively, coffee helps a lot, or any warm beverage for that matter, preferably steaming, even if just hold. 

(Images via: My Polyvore. All clothing info can be found at on my polvore page)

        

UNCONVENTIONAL LOVE

Unconventional Love by sophia2a

Valentine's Day is a tricky one for both camps. Either you're the living embodiment of the inspiration that led to Beyonce's mega hit, 'Single Ladies', or you're part of a twosome; both have their complications. 

Camp A have to face the onslaught of nausea inducing V-Day cards acting as a reminder - as swift as a slap in the face - that the one day of the year when people are allowed, nay, encouraged, to gloat (whether purposely or not) about their love (yuck) is coming. This is where I feel the 'Jaws' theme tune should handily kick in. The reminder of this day has been lingering around in the corners of card shops the world over, pretty much ever since the fireworks of New Year's Eve stopped banging actually. Hallmark do so love this time of year. 

For the couples out there it's no better. The pressure of expectation, what gift to get? where to go? how serious are we? does that even matter? does Valentine's Day even mean anything? I have a friend who booked three restaurants for a romantic dinner, so that he could surprise his girlfriend by letting her choose where to go. Clever? Maybe. Outrageous? Definitely. 

And then there's the gift. Is it necessary? Should the lady get their guy anything? And if so, what? Is it wrong for us girls to expect to receive something? Because let's face it, we kinda do right? Or is this the one day out of all 365 when we're allowed to indulge our inner romantic whims and expect a bit of chivalry? 

So many questions, so few answers. Most of which are based off generalisations of sorts. I know there are many people completely content with their status, single or otherwise and I also know that there are many happy couples who couldn't give a f*^k about this particular day, that just acts to encourage overblown gestures of 'love'. 

(Going bananas)

True love is for everyday: love of oneself and love of another, or others in a plural sense. So forget the cliche (that goes for the sickly red & pink theme too btw) please, I beg of you! I'll be mixing black and navy (expressing my rebellion through the medium of clothing as always) and punctuating with rays of golden accessories, with the only allowance of red in one dramatic slick across my lips.      

Sending out much love <3

(Images via: My Polyvore & Today's The Best Day)

7 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

So the day is almost over, but that doesn't mean that you should switch your brain off just yet. Information/news/gossip/nonsense, it's all out there for the taking and I've lost hours gathering the best bits of the week, so that you'll never be stuck for an anecdote or left dumbfounded again. You remember how I consider 'awkward silence' to be the enemy, right?

1/ The Rediscovery of what may be literary gold

I may be jumping the gun with that rather grandiose introduction but I found Harper Lee's, 'To Kill A Mockingbird' a truly inspiring and moving read, and the literary geek in me is beyond excited for this second novel, 'Go Set A Watchman' (which was actually written first would you believe? and was thought to have been lost). Following the now adult Scout, as she revisits her claustrophobic childhood hometown - where her father still resides - Scout grapples with "issues both personal and political". It promises to be a remarkable read.  

2/ The Baby Name Fiasco Continues

(Yes they are in fact laughing at you)

I've always wondered what Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds talk about. Perhaps it's their shared good looks... I guess I'll never know. However, what I do know is that the pair are keeping schtum on the name of their baby. Though Ryan did clarify that the rumours of her being called Violet, are actually false. Will we ever find out her name? I guess the saga continues on.

3/ It's All In The Genes Baby

(Making the 'Mom' jeans look easy, when we know otherwise)

Hailey Baldwin of The Baldwin lineage, is the new face of Topshop's denim line. Despite questions surfacing as to the difference between the 'mainline' Topshop campaign (fronted by a denim clad Cara Delevingne) and the 'denim line' ad, the campaign has a refreshingly pared back look to it, showcasing Hailey's natural beauty, and perhaps more importantly, the jeans! With old favourites like the 'Baxter' and the 'Jamie' alongside the new season 'Jamie Flare' (a high waisted jean with a slight kick flair) and the 'Binx' (a high waisted skinny with a frayed ankle hem), the nine styles are set to fulfil your every denim whim.   

4/ Bitch Stole My... Hair

(Putting on a brave face considering the copy-cat antics of Zayn)

I don't pay much attention to Kelly Osbourne - at all, no hard feelings or anything, in fact I am opinion-less when it comes to her (though I will admit that I was slightly aghast when she became a constant on Fashion Police, considering her many appearances on the fashion-don'ts list over the years and all) However, I digress, the news at hand here is that Zayn Malik, of that little known band 'One Direction', has apparently stolen Kelly O's hair. Or at least her hair style; both sporting slicked back mohawks. Make of this what you will. Though it's not a trend I shall be championing anytime soon.     

5/ In The Footsteps Of Joan Didion...

(Mac, Alexis Bittar, now Kate Spade. Iris looks set for world domination)

The internet practically broke (sorry Kim K) when Joan Didion was revealed as the face of Celine, followed swiftly by 70's icon Joni Mitchell for the Yves Saint Laurent music project. And now, Kate Spade has cast Iris Apfel in her newly released campaign. (Can you tell it's campaign season?) It's hard to tell whether the fashion industry is truly drawing a line under it's ageist tendencies or whether this is just a marketing ploy to garner attention. With that said, Iris Apfel truly is an inspiration, from her attitude to her style. Check out The Coveteur's interview with the nonagenarian to see what I'm quacking about. 

6/ The End Of Sabrina The Teenage Witch...

(It's okay, Sabrina's not a lump of stone...)

I graduated on to the hard hitting Charmed series before I could reach the finale of Sabrina. However, I stumbled upon what I thought was the last episode a couple of years back and was shocked to find Sabrina turned to stone and left a pile of rumble on the floor. Quite dramatic, not to mention final - or so I thought. I was plagued with thoughts: was this always the end that my pre-teen idol was to meet? Or was this a mere case of abrupt cancellation? And then last night the answer to this incessant nagging was found; that was not the end to the show, just the season - duh! silly me ey. I can now rest easy that Sabrina is O.K - or at least I think she is, I haven't quite gotten to the end yet... 

7/ Sometimes Keeping Up With The Kardashians Is Hard

(It's er, erm, a different look for Kylie...)

So after months of speculation Bruce Jenner's mother Esther, has confirmed that Bruce is in fact undergoing the transition to become a woman. Though none of the Kardashian/Jenner girls have commented on this, there has been rumours of a docu-series being filmed of the transition that will be aired on E! later this year. In other Jenner news, Kylie goes blonde... at least for her Love magazine shoot. And will you check out those plumped up lips! I'm on the google hunt for the MAC, 'Velvet Teddy' lipstick that Kylie apparently lives in, as I simultaneously type this right now. I'm wondering if the secret ingredient is 'miracle grow'... I'll report back on my findings.       

(Images Via: the guardian.com, usmagazine.com, style.com, stylesweekly.com, dailymail.co.uk, huffintonpost.com & mirror.co.uk)