I'm wearing trainers right now.
No, I'm not at the gym.
Let me reflect a little.
The me of yonder years laughed at people in trainers. Not only laughed but mocked. My friends and I took a particular dislike to black trainers, seeing them as the epitome of all that is 'uncool' in this world and the next.
Whilst I stick ardently (for now) to my aversion for all things black and trainery, I did just buy Boyfriend a pair of his very own gym shoes, all blacked out and ninja-ry.
And what adds to the bafflement of this whole trainer situation that has taken over as of late - and by late I mean the last year or three - is that people are actually complimenting Boyfriend's black kicks. I think the only thing that can be deduced from all of this (my younger self shudders as I type this) is that black trainers are cool.
Actually let me reinforce this with an even bolder statement: TRAINERS ARE COOL.
Maybe this isn't even that bold a statement. I mean everyone and their grandmother seem to be choosing the option of leisure as their shoe du jour, even heels are disguised to look like trainers now (see Isabelle Marant if you're looking for someone to blame) - which is utter blasphemy if you ask me, since when did we become ashamed of heels? However, that's a debate entirely of it's own...
I would never snub a shoe of comfort but I'm still not sold on this whole 'trainer thing'. Converses have long been a stalwart staple in the arsenal of fasionistas in the know. However, they're not a training shoe as such. I give the same look to people who wear Converses to the gym as I do to those who wear a snap back or beanie to the gym. It's a look of utter confusion and WTF-ness. Converses are like a shoe category in their own right. It's inexplicable or at least it's not something I care to attempt to explain, but for whatever reason, they've been adopted by the fashion community and if history is anything to go by, they're sure to be sticking around.
There's been a number of leisure-type shoes that have had their five minutes of fame, like KEDS for example or, more recently, Superga, but like the good ol' Converses, they're not a trainer. When I think of trainers, middle aged men and the stereotypical American mother of every 90s film I've ever seen, replete with 'mom jeans' (an (anti)fashion trend that's reared it's ugly head - and unfortunately, rather saggy bum) spring to mind. The next image from my mental montage is Lily Allen, circa early noughties, back when she was parading around in her prom dress and trainer get up (who'd have thought the now Chanel muse would have started life as a chav ey?) Needless to say this look never appealed to me. So moving swiftly on, the final association I have when I think of trainers is more of a memory than a still frame, harkening back to numerous gym classes spent feeling awkward and damn unfit. So is it any wonder that I have such an aversion to this trainer trend when the foundations of my relationship to the gym shoe are based upon such shaky ground?
I've read countless articles on the new wave of 'antifashion' that's hit, like, everywhere (refer back to the 'mom jeans' comment above). For example the Birkenstocks (which FYI I've always thought looked pretty rad, in an LA beach, surf chick kinda way) but now with the addition of socks?! Yes SOCKS! I mean I'm all for the sock/shoe combo, but I draw the line at accompanying what is essentially a flipflop with socks! You might as well don a bumbag too and embrace the tourist look all the way. 'But wait!' I hear you cry, 'festival season means the re-emergence of that 80s throwback, known to Americans as the 'fannyback' - which only adds to reinforce this as the epitome of anti-fashion in my opinion.
And that's not the end of it. It seems that for one to be 'in fashion' nowadays, one must dress as nondescript as possible. What began as Pheobe Phillo's paired down French chic, has now been cloned, and resultantly diluted, by storms of supposedly fashion savvy individuals. Crowds of people parading around in slight variations of the same thing, stifling any kind of individuality or inspiration that may have been garnered. I mean how many Stan Smith's did you see over all of the fashion weeks? If you're anything like me, then you've seen enough to last a few lifetimes. But really the true tragedy of this story is how god awful boring everyone looks!
I hope you can feel my exasperation.
Ah well, thank goodness for the fashion chameleons out there, those few who shirk the norm, who swim against the tide in a multicolour zigzagged swimsuit whilst everyone else lounges around in their boring black and white two pieces.
I'm staring at my trainers and whilst they're utterly fabulous in all their green glory, I'm thinking my fast daps should remain strictly under the 'gym attire' umbrella of my ridiculously organised and stellar-ly categorised wardrobe. In a world of so many choices and so few feet, I find it hard to believe that we would turn our noses up at the plethora of utterly spectacular shoes, in favour of hanging about in trainers. I mean please, someone help me figure this out, or maybe I'll just turn to Anna. Please take note of how NO trainers appear in the following photos.
I LOVE YOU ANNA
(She really is the cherry on the top. Sigh)
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