GRAFFITI ON THE GOWN

Get your felt pens at the ready.

I feel like I'm teasing you but I have to put off any Oz/NZ posts yet again. 

(Photos: People Magazine & Hello)

Something BIG has happened. Yeah, yeah, blah, blah Brad and Angelina have finally tied the knot. Yes let's all applaud, but that's not what I'm interested in. Oh no. In true SoLou style, September 2nd 2014 will go down in history as the day of the dress.  

The world watched with bated breath, stiff with inhalation at the expectation of what would adorn the body of Miss Jolie. On first glance it's nice - a word I rarely use because it's so meaningless, 'oh you look nice' is just another way of saying 'you look so uninteresting that only the most basic of adjectives is befitting'. The dress features a ruched bodice, elegant spaghetti straps and a full skirt that spills to the floor. Not jaw-dropping but not awful either. 

Designed by Atelier Versace, the dress is really a masterclass in quality but in true Billy-Ray Cyrus style, the party really is in the back. The ever provocative, newly named Mrs Pitt, had doodles drawn by all six of her children embroidered on to the train and veil of her wedding gown. Yep, just like fellow bad gal Gwen Stefani, Jolie couldn't do the whole traditional white dress thang. Despite previously playing Mrs Smith, Jolie ain't no plain Jane.

During her previous relationship to Johnny Lee Miller, Jolie wore a white t-shirt; chic, carefree, totally cool, right? not exactly considering that it was apparently smeared with her blood. It spelt out his name which *apparently* made it romantic and therefore (in some alternate universe) kept it out of the realms of the perverse. She also wore her second husband Billy Bob Thornton's blood in a vial around her neck, so maybe this playful scattering of her children's scribbles isn't just a show of her abiding maternal love. Maybe this marks a stedfast move away from, what can only be described as yuck, to an infinitely less sinister rendition of a rather infantile means of expression; show and tell.  

(Photo: via DailyMail.com)

As the old adage waffles on about 'wearing one's heart on one's sleeve' so Jolie wore her children's drawings on her dress and as long as all blood remains within the confines of her ever shrinking body (side note: bring back the Lara Croft bod please Ange) can we really complain? 

For the haemophilic in me I think not.