THAT IS SO YOU

Some sentiments are to be appreciated, welcomed even. Others not so much. They come with a sense of expectation that sometimes just cannot be fulfilled. Case in point, when someone proudly proclaims: "that is so you!" 

(SATC: Four ladies all with distinguishable fashion troupes that represent not only their personal style, but their individual personalities)

The weight of this statement often results in a long pause, followed by an awkward silence of sorts as the mind races to assess the situation and fathom whether or not this is a joke.

It's difficult when someone, a person who you think knows you, can get you so wrong. You're in shock, your feelings may be hurt. How could they believe this to be a reflection of your style, an extension of you? But amidst all the confusion, you are very aware of their feelings - they may have chosen something for you based on their own fashion predilections. How to sidestep this, think, think...

Life in general is all about labels; good, bad, right, wrong. Fashion is no different; bohemian, minimalistic, alternative... It keeps everything neat and tidy. Categorisation is a means of managing the chaos that is life, but it's all too easy to confuse what is merely a surface perspective as a reflection of the person as a whole. It makes you feel in control, like you've got things/people/life sussed out. Until those fateful words are uttered - 'that is so you' - and it comes to light that your manicured arrangement of a certain person's style and thus them is completely and utterly wrong. 

(Green faux fur makes being memorable a certainty) 

Everyone wants to be memorable and it's often people's quirks that help to define them into these sub-categories. It definitely adds a weight of conviction when present buying. For example, I will forever be grateful of a slogan tee, bonus points if it's witty, or a statement jacket - an outfit maker in itself. For my sister, anything with an element of luxe is a sure winner, whereas the boyfriend finds anything khaki or burgundy particularly appealing. 

When you get it right, it feels so good. Like 'hey you're my friend, I know you so well and to prove this look at this awesome gift I've bought/made/cooked for you'. Everyone's happy and you're a great person/friend. However, when you get it wrong, it sucks. 

It's not about being grateful or ungrateful. The sentiment is always something to be greatly appreciated, but that doesn't stop the tangible awkwardness that comes when you are told that something is 'you to a T' - only that it isn't. It might only be a suggestion, but it does give you an inkling into their thoughts on your personal style. You might see this as a misinterpretation of your style, other times, however, if you're open to it, it might come as a welcome respite from your usual.

(Susie Lau of Susie Bubble's inimitable style)

Having a specific 'look' isn't a bad thing, it's particularly handy first thing on a Monday morning, but it can mean that oftentimes we are blinkered, overlooking green paper bag waist trousers because we typically favour black skinny jeans. When I'm out shopping with my boyfriend he'll point clothes out for me, mostly because they're pre-existent in my closet already - e.g stripes, a constant forever - but I appreciate his attempt at involvement in something that he frankly has no cares about.

Granted, this still doesn't help when one is in the awkward abyss of the 'that is so you' predicament. However, the situation is much like when you ask someone for their opinion on something that you love and just have to have. This happens to me very often. I'll turn to a friend, beaming at the Barbie pink, ruffle necked T-shirt that I can visualise going with everything in my whole wardrobe/the entire world, only to be met with much shuffling of feet and averted eyes. They feel awkward, I feel confused.

And I guess that is personal style being enacted in real life. It is personal. Can I imagine my friends wearing half of the stuff that make up my daily wears?  Absolutely not. Most of my outfits are met with, "only you could wear that" remarks and it's true, only I could wear the things that I wear because it's my personal style. And an outside person no matter how close to you they may be (except my mum, she just gets me) cannot be blamed for sometimes being a bit off with their recommendations, because they are in fact not you. 

Next time your fashion fate is dictated to you, take the time to assess the situation, mull it over, then if need be, use the distraction technique and point to something shiny. Alternatively, if the item sparks intrigue then capitalise on your compadre's style advice. This could be lucrative to the development of your own personal style. After all, this person sees your outfits from all angles, something that unless you're boneless, you cannot. So save your dread over those four little words - 'that is so you' - because who knows, it could be a you that you haven't yet discovered...  

(Photo credits: Pinterest, huffingtonpost, elleuk.co.uk & whowhatwear)