Christmas is supposed to be filled with goodwill,
good tidings and good laughs. However, in reality it's the season of overconsumption, over saturation and just plain going over board!
The pressures of finding the 'perfect gift' and surviving the annual family get-together are seriously enough to bring on a brain aneurysm. The symptoms usually manifest themselves in the form of 'bah-humbug-ness', which namely involves having the Pogues on heavy repeat and taking your aggression out on the potatoes (mashed is always better anyway…) To survive this wonderful time of year I've created a little survival guide; *hopefully* to make your day all the more bearable, or at the very least to give you some material to distract yourself from your great Aunt's moustache…
10. Chill The Eff Out Man
(Just as a warning, joining your foot to your head isn't necessarily relaxing)
Hyperventilating over, as yet,
un-bought presents is wholly unnecessary.
9. Breathe
(Preferably stand away from the sprouts before you start your breathing exercises)
And if this doesn't work, seek consolation in a big bar of chocolate.
8. Ditch The Drama
Leave the tantrums and tears to the TOWIE set.
7. When In Doubt…
(FYI, this is what a doubtful fashionista looks like)
Buy a gift card. They were invented by a genius. A lazy, unorganised, genius.
6. Say Bye Bye To Your Bed
Lie-ins are a thing of the past. Get to the shops early to get out (smugly) before things get cray.
5. Take A Packed Lunch
(Kudos if your lunch matches your outfit)
Most of your day will be
spent queuing; risk the possible seagull attacks by skipping the lunch line and
eating on the go.
4. Prepare For War
The shops are your battlefield. Sharpen those elbows and avoid eye contact at all costs. A helmut wouldn't go amiss either.
3. Forgo The Food Fight
Your clumsy Uncle + the gravy boat
= a disaster waiting to happen. Save yourself the dry cleaning bill and sit far, far away.
2. Going Crackers
Always, always let your
younger sibling/little cousin/tipsy relative win when pulling the crackers.
1. Smile
Because what the hell else are you going to do?!
And remember, Christmas comes but once a year. I find repeating this (as I slowly rock back and fore) to be tremendously comforting…
(None of the above images are my own & I do not claim credit over any of them. Images via: kyrinhall.com, wifflegiff, Pinterest & mattressessale)
